The Story of My Life
by emerald10
Summary: Some chapters have been revised. A dark slash fic involving adult themes such as child abuse. This is the more in depth version of my drabble equivialent exchange. My name is Edward Elric, this is the story of my life. The good bad and in between.
1. Prologue

_**The Story of My Life**_

_Prolouge_

The buzzer gave a shrill ring through the complex and the heavy mesh wire gate added it's own claxon clang as it slid open. Two soldiers stationed as guards jumped snapped to attention giving the superior officer walking through the gate a proper by the book salute. If nothing else the man was a full bird Colonel, with a crisp returned salute and a nod the Colonel continued on his way down the cold dim metal hallway, his thick soled leather boots making dull thumps with each step the rustle of the thick blue cotton of his uniform starched and pressed to first issue perfection singing a soft backup to the beating of his heart loud in his own ears as he moved ever closer to his destination, the maximum security cells of Centrals prison three where only the truly depraved and uncontrollable are locked away never to see the light of day again.

One more buzzer and more clanging metal, the screech of metal on metal a familiar lullaby but only a small comfort to him. Two more guards, another round of pointless salutes an opened door and there he was. The man no prisoner the Colonel had come to see. The man no prisoner sat his wrist shackled together and pined to the metal table bolted to the floor of the small cell his feet likewise shackled and bound to the visibly uncomfortable straight-backed chair he sits in. Once proud strong shoulders slumped in defeat his head hanging shaggy unkempt hair hiding his face from view. The men no prisoner's people in this place were nothing but prisoners; no rank any flashy titles any acclaims just prisoners. This prisoner in particular is set for execution at dawn before a soldiers firing line for crimes too numerous to name. Sighing out a deep breath and straightening his shoulders the Colonel stepped forward firmly ignoring his guilt over his inability to protect this man no prisoner before him even if it was that guilt that drove him to this awful place to begin with. This last chance to explain, confess would be a better word looking for absolution even more accurate. This truly his last chance the prisoner would die at dawn there was no question about that no last minute appeal, no outside help, no called in favors from the higher ups, no ifs, ands, or buts. Taking another deep breath the Colonel stepped fully into the cell and let it out in the words "Hello Colonel Bastard"


	2. chapter one

_**The Story of My Life**_

_Chapter One_

"You know dumb struck is not a good look for you." The words were caustic and cold. Colonel Edward Elric, The Fullmetal Alchemist, Hero of the Lior Rebellion and all around cold bastard crossed the three steps to only other piece of furniture in the small cell, a matching straight backed metal desk chair as the one prisoner Mustang currently sits chained to.

"Edward." One word, uttered calmly with a multitude of emotions behind it, everything from confusion to hate and back again. " Honestly, I never thought I would see you again."

"Yeah well unfinished business and all that shit." The words were followed by a tried sigh

"Bullshit aside, why are you here Edward?" The question came out weary and rightly so.

"When they hauled you out of that damn courtroom you asked me why. You are going to die tomorrow, and there is nothing I or anyone else can do about that. The way I figure you deserve to have your answer."

"It took you four years to figure that out?" The question came out far more bitter than Roy had intended. "I have spent four years in this hellhole because of you and your just figuring out that you might owe me and explanation. Here I thought you were a progeny."

"Procrastination. Something I learned from you actually. Listen Roy I have done some horrible things in my life some of witch directly affect you so if you want my confession shut up and listen."

Shifting from one uncomfortable position to another Roy cocked his head to the side. "I'm listening." The words were simple no tone, no concession. It reminded Ed of being younger standing across from his former Colonel's desk infuriated at the mans calm and ability to insult him while never showing any emotion.

"Alright, here it is."


	3. chapter two

Authors Note: This story deals with the adult themes child abuse, and rape starting in this and the following chapters. If you are squeamish, not a fan of the subject matter, or slash TURN BACK NOW! I have warned you. This is a dark slash fic written from Ed's perspective.

The Story of My Life

You once asked me when it started. Looking back, it started before I had even considered joining the military. I remember the weird old man who sat on the corner of town, drunk and unwashed, leering at random people. At seven, I just thought he was stupid and a waste of time, Al, and Winry's time. Mom and Aunt Pinako would always tell us to stay away from him, strangers were dangerous. That was useless information; nobody could hurt us. Al and I could protect Winry from anything. I didn't realize they were protecting us and now looking back, I see he wanted us -- and not in a good way.

Al, my little brother, had always been a handsome child. Even as a six-year-old kid, it was obvious he would someday grow into a well-built, handsome man. Winry was so cute as a child, and as she grew, that cuteness tempered into loveliness, a loveliness both inside and outside. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you looked at it (big brother instincts aside), few people looked beyond Winry's outer beauty to see her inner loveliness, or the well of almost never-ending strength she possessed. Me, I was an unusually pretty child, not that I knew it or cared. What did something like that matter? I have such an unusual coloring -- few people anywhere have gold eyes. I'm told they are my most striking feature, but I am off topic.

He wanted us. I didn't realize how he wanted us until I was eleven, but I'm getting to that. The townspeople realized what he wanted and took measures to get rid of him. The men, burly farmers, literally ran him out of town. Again, I thought nothing of it. What did one bum's fate matter to me? I had a secret clubhouse to build with Al in the caves outside of Rezenboul. I still laugh when I think of Winry's reaction to Al telling her she could come with us only because she wasn't a girly girl. She informed him she was a girl and as girly as any girl could be then she threw her doll at him. It's funny, Al gets soft fabric dolls thrown at him; I get hit in the head with hard steel wrenches. I'm rambling again, aren't I?

You know what happened next. Mom died, and we left for training in Dublith. The bum from Rizenboul may have been the first to notice me, but he wasn't the last. Mason's apprentice spent too much time looking at me for teacher's comfort. He tried to hug me once, and teacher beat him black and blue. That was before Mason got hold of him. He left town after that, and I never really understood why. It just didn't matter to me, and I hadn't wanted to be hugged by him anyway. Mason and Teacher were protecting us, even if I didn't realize it at the time.

Are you noticing a pattern?

Again, you know what comes next, we went home and tried to bring Mom back. That was a disaster -- there is no other term for it, but it was what really started all of this mess. Suddenly, my brother was a walking, talking trashcan and I was crippled. However, I was crippled and he was a walking trashcan without a protector.

You took advantage of that. Don't tell me you didn't. You knew Aunt Pinako couldn't hold us -- well me -- back, and you knew that the ability to fix my beloved little brother would bring me to you better than anything else, and it did. I came running.

But what to do with me? I was eleven and about to take the state alchemy exam. If I passed you had found a progeny, someone you could mold for your own use, all the while telling the military higher ups, who have put a feather or two in your cap, it is all in the name of the furher. If I had failed and you had trained me, that would have reflected poorly on you and your skills, not to mention the idiocy of having a child, and an eleven year old at that, try to take an exam full grown men fail on a yearly basis.

So you found the perfect solution, in your mind at least. 'I'll put him with Tucker. He's an alchemist who specializes in the same realm as what the boy wants to know about. I'm doing the boy a favor by setting this up. Tucker is a family man he'll know what to do with a damaged child. I'll just hint broadly at what they did, not that Tucker couldn't tell. It will keep the boy in line if he knows I will follow through on my threat to expose them. Tucker, being a family man with a young child not too much younger than the boys, will keep his mouth shut, and if not, well, then I am giving him a progeny to train that will look good on his record. It will all work out in the end right?'

You didn't count on him being a psychotic idiot did you? What you did was give a psycho who had been under Basque Gran's thumb for over two years, without a woman to satisfy him in any way, a damaged and uncommonly pretty child.

Note the damaged.

Not three days after you left, he cornered me in the library after dinner and asked me to come to his room to discuss my research. He told me we wouldn't be disturbing Al or Nina if we retreated to his room on the far side of the house. As big as the house was, I really didn't see how we could disturb them if we shouted at the top of our lungs, but it wasn't my place to point that out in the man's home. Mom did raise me with some manners, even if contempt for the military drove most of them out of me.

I went to his room after Al and Nina went to sleep, my current book in hand. I remember I was reading up on Biochemical alchemy, and I did have questions for him. If anyone would have the answers to my questions, it would be a man who specializes in the biology involved in chimera research.

It wasn't my research he was interested in. I knocked and was invited into his room and I took the offered seat on the couch he had in front the fireplace. I sat on the opposite end of the couch from him, and I told him what I had been studying.

He laughed, and I had no idea why, and he said, "don't you think we should start at the beginning?"

Confused, I told him I have the basics down already. He took that as initiative to move closer to me and place his hand on my thigh. Trying to shift away, I asked what he thought he was doing. I may have been young, but I knew I was not supposed to be touched like that. He laughed again.

"At the beginning it is. Equivalent Exchange. It is the basis of everything we alchemists do. I supply you with a roof over your head, food in your stomach, books to study and my knowledge to draw from. Now what do you supply me with?"

That stumped me. What did I have to give him? I told him I didn't know what I had that I could give him. So he told me what he wanted. "We, Nina and I, have been bereft of a woman's touch here for quite some time now. What I want from you is to take over the household, cleaning, cooking, dusting -- the works. Yes, yes I know it will take some time away from your studying, but once you have the place cleaned up, it won't take much to keep it up, and you will report to me every other night, where we will go over what you have studied, and I will help you with anything you have had trouble with before we go to bed."

That sounded fair to me. I would cook and clean, but I had done that enough when mom was getting sick. I didn't realize she was sick at the time, I just thought she wanted me to be able help her take care of Al. I had felt special then, Mom had needed me.

So I agreed. I would cook and clean. I figured I could get Al to help out of guilt, and if we made it into a game I could get Nina to help and not feel left out. But Tucker's smile was creepy. I got chills form that smile.

"Good then lets go to bed."

It was that simple. Getting up, I bid him goodnight and headed for the door.

"Where are you going? Our bed is right there."

I had no idea what he was talking about. I wasn't staying in here. Mom had always told me good boys and girls never stay with strangers, and that's what he was. A stranger I had been dumped on. I told him as much. I knew what he was asking was wrong. I could just feel it.

"But you're not a good boy are you? Look what you did to your brother. You trapped him is a feeling-less suit of armor. You want to fix your mistakes; well I have the materials you need to do that. Would you really deny your brother the only chance he might have to ever be normal? All for your pride and a misplaced sense of right and wrong? Where was this sense of right and wrong when you tried to transmute your mother? You realize what some people think is right and wrong is sometimes wrong. You want in the military, but do you think they want children? I am trying to help you. I was treating you as an adult, but if that is not what you want, then nevermind. I have neither the time nor the inclination to deal with the whining of a child. The best thing you could do is go home and try again when you have grown up. I thought you were intelligent enough to have thought the reactions of your actions through, apparently I was wrong."

Yeah, that bastard hit every weak spot I had. The guilt over what I did to my mother. My guilt over what I did to my brother. Questioning my devotion to my brother and how far I would go to restore him. Implying that my pride was more important than Al. Hell, implying that anything was more important than Al. He hit on my fear that I would fail the test, that even if I had could pass that the military would not want me causing me to lose time fixing Al. Al who was all I had.

Then he called me a child. Which I was. Not that that was something I wanted to hear at that time. That was a blow to my pride, I can tell you that, and he knew it. He had me when he brought up what I had done to Al, but the blow to my pride, calling me childish and questioning my intelligence was just too much. He knew that too.

I stayed. I let him use me in the most vile and cruel way possible. I just stood there and let him strip away my clothes. I let him touch me in places even I had never touched except to wash in the bath. When he had me to lie down, I was scared. I had no idea what he was doing, or why my body was doing what it was. This was wrong, and I knew it but at the same time I could not stop it. I didn't know how. How do you stop something you agreed to?

It hurt. I should tell you that. I was so nervous I couldn't relax into what he was doing. Looking back it was sad. He had no stamina or talent for that matter. He exhausted himself. When I was sure he was asleep, I dressed and snuck back in to the room I shared with Al. Al never woke from wherever he went when he slept while in the armor.

The next morning, I made breakfast and Tucker smiled at me. He approved of me being back where I should be. Al would never know. Later that day, I told Al it would be nice if we cleaned up the house. If we were going to live there it was the least we could do. Al thought that was a wonderful idea, and never thought twice about the reasons why I, who hate cleaning above all things excepting milk, would voluntary clean anything. We did make cleaning the house into a game and Nina loved it, and I started to worry. If he could do that to me what would he do to her? If I only knew then what I know now huh?

How was I supposed to tell you? I didn't see anyone from the military, much less you, until Hughes came and got me on my birthday. For that matter, what was I supposed to say? "Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Hughes, I realize I don't know you at all but Tucker thinks I am his whore and he's been fucking me for a year now. Oh, you're in labor, I guess this was a bad time."

Would the military have believed me, or would they have sided with a respected family man? I would have been laughed out of Central, and you know it.

Can I get on with the story? You did ask you know. I don't want to tell you this, but you ordered it, so shut up.

He asked after my research two days later. That same night I went to him again. Again I didn't understand what he was doing or why my body be behaving like it was. I did know however that it was wrong and Al or anyone else for that matter could never know. For the entire year every two nights like clockwork he would ask after my research and I would go to him. During that year, I worried about Nina and Al, and we became close. Nina became our little sister.

Toward the end of our time there, I was still studying biology when I found a human anatomy book. It explained a lot of things about my body, and what was going on. This was when I began to realize that I had power over him. He wanted me, not the other way around. I could use that. If I got him wound up it was always over sooner. Admittedly, his evaluation had him in a fuss, so I wasn't called to come to his room as often. He was worried and rightly so.

Around this time, I had started taking Nina and Al to the local park to get away from him. His worry was making Nina clingy, and her clinginess was shortening his temper. I saw Gran a few times during this period, but he ignored me. I was just a kid.

When I passed the state exam, Tucker got even more flighty. He kept giving Nina funny looks, and I was scared for her. About this time I saw Gran a few times. He suddenly didn't like me. Later I found out is was because you had shown him up. I was a better alchemist that Tucker would ever be, and I had only just turned twelve.

The tension in the house was getting worse. Tucker's assessment was in a week, so I went to the library to see if I could find out anything on his original transmutation. If I could, maybe I could help him and he would quit looking at Nina that way.

What way? I don't know how to describe it. Cunning, assessing. Maybe weary and nervous would work too.

Right, where was I? About this time, Tucker started to talk about his wife, when she left him, why, where she went, all that jazz. The trouble was, it wasn't adding up.

When Nina caught me writing to Winry, she wrote a letter to her mom that Tucker was supposed to mail. When I came down to do the dinner dishes, I found it burned in a bronze dish on the table. Tucker didn't pay attention to how well it burned. Seeing that, well, it made the creepy feeling I had worse. Then Gran showed up.

Gran didn't like the fact that I had been, in his words "snooping" in classified matters under his authority. He really didn't like you, did he? We were thrown out. In one way, it was a relief. I was free of Tucker and a State Alchemist. I could, and did, move into the dorms. My certification was something that couldn't be taken away right then. I had a way to help Al, the whole of Central's First Branch, but Nina was still there. That feeling got worse all day long, so I talked Al into sneaking in with me, but we were too late. Nina and Alexander were a chimera. A perfect chimera bonded at the cellular level.

There was nothing I could do about it. If I had tried to separate them, I would have killed them both. Of course, you think this can't get any worse, but Gran showed up.

You know what happens next. Gran ran off with Tucker and Nina. I transmuted the ground and freed Nina, but she panicked ran and was murdered by Scar. Not that I knew who had done it at that time.

Yeah, I cried. My all but sister, a little girl who hadn't even turned five yet, was just transmuted into a chimera and murdered. She was changed into a monster by her own father. I knew, KNEW something was wrong but I didn't do anything until it was too late. After all I've told you, do you wonder why I didn't want to go back to that damn house? Why I wanted nothing to do with the Tucker case. No, of course not. You were preoccupied with Barry.

What is that look? I told you the bum from Rezenboul was the first, but not the last, well Tucker wasn't the last either. Do you really want to know what comes next?


	4. chapter three

_**The Story of My Life**_

_Chapter Three_

"No Mustang of course you don't want to know what happened next." "What happens next is just another reminder of how big of a fucking failure you are isn't it?" "You failed is your self appointed crusade to "Protect" the innocent people of Artimis from the savage Ishbalians." "You failed to protect the innocent Ishbalians from the all mighty military." "You failed in life." "Hell you failed to have any form of life outside of the fucking military." "You failed in becoming furhur." "You failed Hughes, Gracia, and Elisia. All you had to do was sit there sign papers and trust in him to do what he said he would." "He really would have pushed you to the top." "In a moment of stupidity I gave him everything he would have needed to get you there." "You failed your crew, who are scattered and demoted, and least of all if not most importantly you failed me time and time again."

"If I had thought for a second I could have trusted you everything would have been different." "The decisions you made would have been informed." "I would have made sure you had all of the facts." "I would have voluntarily supported you all the way to the top." "All you had to do was trust me in return instead of just using me and my exploits to better your name." But what did you do?" "You Colonel Bastard sent me back into that damned house to investigate Tuckers files, however I was free of him." "The bastard was dead." "Executed by the military." "I had no reason to go back in that house, and relive all of those memories, till you sent me back." "I all but begged you not to make me go back." "I even went so far as to ask for and assignment to investigate a serial killer." "An assignment I most assuredly did not want." "I remember what those horrible mangled corpses looked like." "They reminded me so much of her." "What I did to her." "I don't want to talk about her."

"You thought I was being childish." "I know that." "You also thought it would be best to get me over my squeamishness early." "I know that too." "It would have been a good plan if I had any faith in any adult." "My jackass of a father ran out on my brother and I." "Yes, I harp on that." "Yes, I have abandonment issues." "However, I like my issues." "I plan to keep them." "Our mother left us." "You know that as well." "I know she didn't want to leave and that she couldn't help it, but she did leave us." "Our teacher as much as she loves us spent a year beating the shit out of us on the pretence of teaching us." "Looking back I realize it was just her way, but at the time I was only nine." "I am allowed my issues." "I have earned them." "You." "You came for me for your own selfish reasons." "Don't tell me you didn't." "That is an insult to my intelligence." "Once you had me you pawned me off on Tucker to preserve your reputation in case of my failure." "Then we have Tucker." "Tucker who used me in the vilest way you can imagine." "All before my twelfth birthday." "No I learned early on if you want something done right or just plain done pay the price and do it yourself."

"Equivalent exchange is a crock of shit." "Even in basic alchemy you give a hell of a lot more than you get." "I want to fix an axe handle, to go about that I have to place the entire axe head and handle both in a circle, both head and handle is absorbed and taken into the void what you get back is a full and fixed axe, but if you look close you will find that the fully repaired axe is one fourth of an inch shorter than it should be." "While that is negligible you had more before you began." "Had you splinted the wood you would have had a quick and ineffectual fix but you would not have lost any of your axe." "I have gone off on a tangent again haven't I?"

"All right I said _"This was when I began to realize I had power over him. He wanted me, not the other way around. I could use that. If I got him wound up it was always over sooner."_ "No I'll come back to this."

"After I turned in my watch I went for a walk and ended up at the mess hall." "Hughes brought me the files on the serial killer." "Hughes was always funneling me information on the side." "Never enough to do me much good but always enough to get me on the right track." "Some things in the file didn't make sense to me. How was he able to make all of those cuts on the women without someone noticing something?" "Women being raped and cut to pieces are not quiet about it, and what about the blood. It was true that the crime scenes were bloody but with the amount of blood I know a human body holds and the amount of cuts on the bodies of the victims I knew the killer had to be moving the bodies somehow."

"Yes I knew they were being raped." "I'm not stupid." "Not only was it in the report I did have my own up close and personal experience with good old Barry." "Anyway do you mind?" "I can handle the narration without all the questions or, not at all." "It's your choice." "You want to know how were you suspost you earn my trust with that attitude?" "Try." "All you would have had to do was try." "What does this have you do with the reason you're stuck in here?" "I'll get to that in due as well." "I told you, this is my confession." "Yes typically the damned are the ones to confess but you wanted this remember?"

" Now anyway, Hughes made some comment about alchemists that pissed me off when some random private came to tell me I had a visitor." "When I got outside the only thing there was a screw, one I would know anywhere I have enough of them in my arm." "I knew it had been Winry." "With the killer on the loose, a killer who only killed pretty young women I got scared." "Winry was a beautiful girl from a small town." "She wouldn't know to be careful." "In Rezenpool everyone knows everyone else, you can trust anyone." "That and news travels so slow I knew she wouldn't know about the killer on the loose." "I saw a puddle of water on the ground and it hit me." "I asked the privet if there had been a car stopped there before he came to find me." "My heart almost stopped beating all together when he said, _"Well yeah there's always refrigerated trucks parked here when they drop off food for the mess hall." " _Winry being the trusting mechanical geek she is would have gone to look at a state of the art refrigerated truck." "It would have been child's play to get her into it." "As thick as the metal is no one would have heard her scream." "The killer could have taken her anywhere he wanted too." "Lucky for both Winry and I the truck had a leak." "I followed the water trail all the way back to a butcher shop."

"When I walked in there were pigs hanging everywhere I saw a woman in the corner." "When I asked if there was anyone else there she told me there was a young girl over that way." "I was in a rush to get Winry and get out of there." "I told her to wait there I would get the girl and we would _"Get the hell out of here."_ "The last thing I remember was pain in my head and the sound of her laughter before I was knocked out."

"I woke up to the sound of a grinder." "She well I thought it was a she was sharpening a huge ass butcher knife, and I was missing my arm and chained to a chair." "Some big mouth had told him all I had to do was clap my hands and I could transmute." "He after taking the long brown wig off informed me He was taking no chances with me and his name." _"_ _Let me introduce myself. My name is Barry and this here is my butcher shop." " _I was still reeling she was a he." "That and he look a whole lot better as a she." "About that time the smug bastard swung the chains holding the meat up dragging Winry into view." "Barry started talking about how Winry liked to take thing apart and how he was going to take her apart." I should _"Watch carefully, you'll get to see what makes her tick"_

"I was disgusted so I asked the rather cliché question." Why are you doing this?" " I think every ass whole, and sick psycho in the world have been asked that at least once in his life."

"_Why? Huh… What a strange little question that is. I suppose it's because I enjoy it."_ "He proceeded to tell me the first person he killed was his wife." "She was nagging him about something." " She was so easy to slice finely." "He then went off on some spill about morality and killing in war, which I ignored." "I still had the screw I had picked up earlier." "I knew I had to get loose so I started to scratch out an array on a section of chain binding me to the chair." "I had tuned him out while I concentrated on drawing my array, when I felt his knife go in my shoulder." "That got my attention." "In a hurry I might add."

"He had stopped his moral rant, and had move on to why he liked to carve females, be them sow pigs, heifers, or women." _"They have a more delicate skin." "They slice so easy." " The flesh splits almost seamlessly." "_ _But it's odd females of any species except the human are uglier that the male." " Take the red bird for example." "He is a beautiful crimson all over he glides around with grace and poise." " His female has a minimal amount of red on her." " She looks ungainly, and awkward hell think about the majesty that is the male peacock, a beautiful riot of blues, and purples, long graceful tail feathers, the birds are beautiful while the female is a drab ugly brown." "Even with loins well I haven't time to go threw the whole animal kingdom with you." "Every species but human beings the male is better looking than the female." " That's why I like to dress up as a woman." "I feel prettier." "Special." "I thought that human females were prettier was the rule till I saw you." " Such beauty." " I beat your flesh would cut seamlessly." " It is as soft as it looks." " Well my dear alchemist do you know where the softest flesh on the female human is?" "No of course not, you're what twelve?"_

"During his rant he had moved back to Winry." "I was chained to my chair while he ran that damned knife up her leg and pressed it firmly against her core blade down."

"_I do so enjoy splitting the flesh here." "I don't always use a knife to do the cutting." " Sometimes flesh this soft requires a more hands on approach." " Well not always my hands either if you get my drift." " I beat I know where the softest flesh on you is." "_He was running his hand over Winry's bottom just like Tucker use to do to me." "That scared me more than his knife ever could."_ "I will take suck joy in splitting you apart, while I cut you to pieces."_

"He had moving away form Winry closer to me and there was no way in hell he was going to do that to me." "I want not going to be violated by this freak, or let him hurt Winry like that." "I had had enough with that bastard Tucker." "I would kill him first."

"I activated my array and dodged to the side." "That pissed him off." "He swung down with that damned knife and destroyed the chair I had been chained to." "I rolled and grabbed the piece of pipe I had transmuted and ran." "He was still after me and I tripped." "I swung the pipe I had picked up and cut his hand." "I don't know why but that fascinated him long enough for me to get to Winry and try to free her." "I couldn't get the chain binding her wrists to come loose before he caught up to me." "When he swung I was close enough to grab my automail I jammed the socket in as fast as I could." "It hurt." "God it hurt." "I transmuted a blade." "I was going to kill him." "I wouldn't be used like that again." "I wouldn't let Winry be used like that." "Winry fell back into a hanging pig and the pulley system holding them up spun around knocking one into him he fell and I had him." "I was going to kill him." "Then Al was there." "He startled me so much I came around blade out." "No one was going to hurt me again." "Thank God Al was made of metal or I would have killed him."

"Hughes finally showed up with the calvary." "He had figured out what I had and come running." "Al bless him thought I was upset because I was about to die." "I let him think that." "How do you explain what Tucker had done and what Barry was going to do to a child?" "He didn't know." "He doesn't know what Tucker or the others did." "I wanted to keep him innocent." "I would give my innocence for his."

"He went off on a spill about the stone." "How it very well could be real." "How he didn't understand what it was like to fear for his life because he didn't have a mortal body any more." "Only state alchemists have access to information on the stone." "Because he didn't have a body he couldn't become a State Alchemist." "I wasn't really paying that much attention to him, then he said those damning words." _"Sure, I want my old body back… to be human again. If we find the I can have that and we can repair what we have broken."_

"With Tuckers words ringing in my head." "_But your not a good boy are you look what you did to your brother" "_ I gave up my innocence then and there, and the world shifted focus." "I was bad I deserved what had happened to me." "I would do anything for him, he deserved better than what I had done to him." "He was innocent." "So I gave my own spill about being scared and facing death." "I let him and the rest of you believe what you wanted." "I was just a scared kid." "Winry bless her heart never said a word about what Barry had said he wanted to do to us." "I don't think she even told Aunt Pinako." "The next day I came in and told you I would follow your orders if I was allowed the freedom to search for the stone after I had run your errands." You agreed but not before enforcing my belief that adults could not be trusted by making that crack about keeping Al's secret in your back pocket "_to make sure you behave." " _I knew then and there I couldn't trust you."


End file.
